DBZ: Fight Club
by Super Neko Majin
Summary: Just a bunch of fan fights, not really a plot here.
1. Semi-Perfect Cell vs Super Android 13

"Welcome back to the Zeno Games, where the strongest fighters from across reality duke it out! There are no ringouts and no surrender, only victory and defeat!" The announcer shouted loudly into the microphone. "In the blue corner!" A giant man touched down from the air into the wasteland. The "ring" was a pocket dimension courtesy of Zeno, currently made to look like Gizard Wasteland. He had blue skin and red, flaming hair. His eyes were blobs of yellow and his shoulders and torso were gunmetal gray. He wore steel earrings, green pants and gray boots. "Broly, I hope you're listening because this guy wants his shtick back! It's Super Android 13!" The audience cheered, while Vegetas from countless worlds booed him for stealing their hairstyle.

"In the red corner!" With a 'tac, tac', another man, if you could call him that, landed. He wasn't quite as big as 13, but he was still huge. His skin was mostly shades of green with black shins and an orange stomach. Black spots ran up and down his body. He had an orange tail almost as long as he was tall with a stinger at the end. He had two strange flares on top of his head, a wide, short black nose and incredibly pink lips. "He may not be the perfect guy, but there's no denying he's in charge of Malaysia! It's Cell!" The audience roared much louder than they had for 13. Cell's vast array of techniques and status as a magnificent bastard made him a crowd favorite in any form. He regenerated his bleeding Namekian ears and smirked confidently at his opponent.

The two stared each other down, feeling each other out. Cell was too good at suppressing his ki and 13 didn't have any to begin with, so it wasn't really necessary, but it was a time-honored ritual. 13 made the first move, charging Cell with a straight punch. The android's eyes widened as Cell raised his arm and blocked it, sending shockwaves through the arena. Instantly they started flying, throwing and blocking countless punches. Finally, 13 got the upper hand, smashing Cell through a plateau. Cell got up almost instantly and flew back towards him, blue aura surging around him. He punched 13 in the gut, making him double over, and fired a quick energy blast, sending 13 into another rock pillar.

13 took longer to get up from the crater than Cell had. In his own world, he'd slaughtered the Z Fighters without a second thought. He'd never even felt pain in this form, much less faced someone on his level before, and it scared him. _"But then again, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's ending folks quickly,"_ he thought with a grin as he charged up the S.S. Deadly Bomber. _"He'll never see it coming."_ Cell was still searching through the air, looking for him, but without ki he'd never find the android.

"This'll squash ya, ya damn caterpillar!" 13 shouted as he fired his deadly attack. The massive red ball shot towards Cell at unbelievable speeds. Cell tried to force it back with his arms, but the blast was too strong for him. It exploded with the force of a supernova, filling his vision with red and sending pain through his body. 13 laughed from below, a deep, Southern laugh. He rose into the air and met his opponent face to face. Cell's arms and one leg had been blown off, and he was covered in burns. 13 was a little surprised Cell was still alive, but it just gave more time to humiliate him. "Ha ha! Did anyone really think I'd get beat by a bug? Now to finish ya off!" Cell groaned. "Can I just ask you one question before I die?" The android laughed. "Yeah, sure, insect!" Cell grit his teeth, and suddenly two new arms and a leg sprouted from the stumps 13 left. 13's eyes widened in shock. Cell just grinned.

"Here's my question: how in Zeno's name did you think you would kill me? I'm far more skilled than you..." 13 put up his arms to defend himself, but Cell easily kneed him in the gut. "I have more techniques than you can imagine..." He kicked 13 away, charged up a Big Bang Crash and fired. 13 hit the ground just in time for the blast to hit him. When the smoke cleared, 13 was covered in dust and was sparking in several places, eyes wide with terror, "I can regenerate forever and a day..." He tore off his own arm and threw it at 13. He caught it and quickly dropped it as a second Cell grew out of the arm, good as new. "...but you're none of those things, are you?" the Cells said in unison. "I am the ultimate warrior, the perfect being. You're not even a fighter, just a pathetic fool who can't do anything but hit things until they break. No wonder Gero abandoned you for me. But you want to know what the worst part is?"

He was interrupted by a hard punch to the face from 13 that jerked his head back. 13 smiled at first, but he was open-mouthed as Cell moved his head back and wiped the tiny trickle of blood off his lip. "You see how much weaker you are? That's because I haven't even been using half my power until now. In fact, I was barely using a third." He waved a hand, dissipating his multi-form below. "Let's change that, shall we?" "You're lying!" 13 started punching him furiously, but it was like hitting a brick wall. Cell yawned. "This is boring. Tell you what, I'll cut you a deal. I'll give you 15 seconds to do whatever you please. Run, attack, or anything else you can think of." 13 snarled at him. "How dare you!" He flew down to the ground and started charging a red orb in his hands. _"_ _Seriously?"_ Cell thought. He stayed in the air and waited until the S.S. Deadly Bomber was upon him.

13 had put all his power into this attack. This would finish him off for good! The attack exploded overhead and he grinned as he waited to see Cell's broken body overhead. He waited, but still nothing... until he heard a voice. "That didn't kill me before... what did you think would happen?" He jumped and saw that Cell had gotten behind him without him seeing a thing. "If you'd self-destructed it might have actually done something, but you didn't have the balls for that, of course. It's been fun, but I can only play with the same chew toy for so long before it gets old. Say hi to Gero for me." A one-handed blast annihilated 13, leaving only burnt chips and wires. Cell flew through the portal that would take him back to the audience.

"And we have a winner! Give it up for Cell!" The crowd roared even louder than when Cell entered. _"Heh, this crowd has a better chance against me than 13 did,"_ Cell chuckled to himself as his ears bled again.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry this fight was a bit shorter than you might have wanted, but I'm still a little new to actually writing fights. Please give me some tips, tell me what I'm doing wrong with the fights so I can get better.**


	2. Perfect Cell vs Pikkon

Cell and Pikkon stood across from each other in the legendary Gizard Wasteland. It would probably have been more reasonable to put all the fights in the Room of Spirit and Time; whatever scenery the organizers picked was usually gone by the end of the fight anyway, and sometimes the planet went with it. But everyone had to admit there was a certain charm to this place, and besides, they had Dragon Balls.

Pikkon smirked. "I can't believe you wanted to challenge me. Don't you remember how this went last time?"

A grin spread across Cell's face. "Oh, please. I can see how a fool like you would see that as a victory, but as far as I'm concerned, it was a cheap shot against an opponent in his resting state and nothing more. If I'd used anything like my _real_ power, I would have destroyed you instantly. In fact..."

Pikkon realized Cell's monologue was going to last a while and started thinking. He had to admit he was surprised. Cell's power had been much lower last time, maybe two-thirds of what it was now, but Pikkon thought he'd just trained. He wasn't worried, of course, but to think there was another person fresh from the living world this powerful... it was incredible.

"...and that, you third-rate Piccolo knockoff, is why you will never win," Cell finished. Pikkon was starting to yawn by now. He'd vanquished hundreds of villains in his long death, but none were as long-winded as Cell. Pikkon cracked his knuckles. "Are you done? 'Cause if your only technique is boring me to death, you won't get very far." Cell chuckled to himself. He was going to enjoy this.

Both of them kicked off from the ground at the same time, arms drawn back for the first punch. Their fists collided in front of them, creating a shockwave that flattened even some of the fighters in the audience. Pikkon kicked Cell hard in the chin, sending him into the air. Pikkon flew towards him, readying a gut punch, but Cell steadied himself. The bio-android stretched out a finger and started firing a death beam barrage.

 _Frieza's technique?_ Pikkon thought, shocked. He'd fought Frieza and his clan countless times, and he knew a death beam when he saw one. One clipped him in the shoulder while he was distracted, leaving a purple burn. _Okay, there_ is _a difference. These ones actually hurt. Good to know._ The Western warrior weaved his way through the death beams, using just a little more power to make it easier. He could probably end this as easily as last time if he wanted to, but that would be too easy. He wanted to wait for the right moment.

Pikkon finally caught up to Cell and swung at his stomach, but Cell disappeared and spin kicked his foe from behind. Pikkon flew a few meters through the air before his aura flared around him, steadying him. He flew back in and tried to punch Cell, but Cell caught the punch easily and held Pikkon's fist before delivering a gut punch. The green fighter staggered, barely staying up in the air. Cell smirked before axe handling him to the ground.

Pikkon hit the ground at thousands of miles per hour, creating an enormous crater. _Damn... I thought he might be holding back after he dodged me so easily, but this much? It's still less than my real power, but with how easily he powered up, this isn't his maximum either. I might actually need to try here._

He looked up at Cell, who had a wide grin on his face. "Where did all that confidence you had before go? I can see it in your eyes, you know you can't win. And just in case you're still holding back, this should fix that." A golden aura sprung to life around the bio-android as he clenched his teeth. A few seconds later, it was over, and he looked down into his stunned opponent's face.

 _That power-up didn't look like much, but he's twice as strong as before,_ Pikkon realized. _This might be the strongest opponent I've ever fought._ Pikkon gritted his teeth as his own clear blue aura fired up around him. The ground cracked from the force of his power-up. If either fighter hadn't controlled their ki, just powering up would have destroyed the Earth then and there.

Both fighters shot towards each other again, but Pikkon was a tiny bit faster and landed a right hook to Cell's face. Pressing his advantage, he hit him with an uppercut and a punch to the chest that sent him flying. Pikkon flew after him and hit his chest with an axe handle. The moment the bio-android hit the ground, Pikkon was firing off a stream of ki blasts. He knew it wouldn't win the battle, but it would definitely hurt. Finally, after a little thought, he threw his weighted clothing too; even Cell would feel the impact of hundreds of tons of otherworldly metal.

Many strong fighters from all sorts of realities had gathered in the stands to watch these two fight, and Gohan and Videl were no exception. Videl tugged Gohan's arm. "Hey, you think you could beat these guys?" she asked. Gohan thought about it a moment. "I don't know. Until Pikkon took his weights off, they were both around where Dad was against Cell. If I could use Super Saiyan 2 I'd beat them easily, but that's not as easy as it used to be, and I don't think my first form would stand a chance. And besides, I don't know about this Pikkon guy, but Cell's still playing around. Maybe seven years ago I could beat him, but now..."

By now, Cell was up, though he was nursing a lump on his head from Pikkon's helmet. Pikkon wouldn't give up his edge now, though, especially now that his weights were off. He rocketed towards Cell at hypersonic speeds and started to spin. Cell cupped his hands and started charging up a beam. "Ka... me..." _That's Goku's technique!_ the green man thought with alarm, but he kept using the Hyper Tornado. "Ha... me... HA!" The beam shot out of Cell's hands and into the tornado as Pikkon stopped moving and straightened up. To Cell's shock, the beam spun around the Hyper Tornado a few times before rocketing back towards him. The bio-android barely had time to cross his arms before his own beam crashed against him. That gave Pikkon all the time he needed, and almost before the beam disappeared Cell was caught in the Hyper Tornado.

Tiny cuts appeared all over Cell's body as fast as he could regenerate them, and on top of that, Pikkon's unweighted power was a lot higher than his. He needed to get out of here now. Summoning all of Frieza's telekinesis, he pushed against the wind. Pikkon's eyes widened as his tornado started to break apart, and that split second was all Cell needed to zip out of there. Unfortunately, Pikkon was still much faster than him, and he stopped spinning and punched Cell in the gut before he could react. The Namekian lookalike hammered Cell with dozens of blows that he was helpless to block before letting him fall to Earth.

The bio-android landed with a thud and gritted his teeth. _He's way stronger than Goku, that's for sure. As much as I hate to admit it, I'll have to use my real power._ Cell stood up slowly, brushed himself off, and started to power up.

Pikkon's eyes widened as Cell's power rose. His own power-up had broken the ground, but Cell's was actually shaking the Earth. On the one hand, the lack of control meant the bio-android was finally reaching his limit, but Pikkon couldn't let that happen. _If only I'd used the Thunder Flash while I had the chance!_ Pikkon flew down as fast as he could, pulling back his arm for his strongest punch. When he was close enough, he swung... and Cell, aura still flaring, caught the punch like he was a disobedient child. Pikkon's face turned to a look of horror as Cell gave his smuggest smile. "How do you like it? This is my full power, and from the look on your face that was yours. I give you maybe a minute, two tops, and unlike Frieza..." His voice deepened. "...I mean it." Cell wrenched Pikkon's arm and slammed him against the ground. Again and again he slammed him down, planning on doing it as many times as he had to until the green man was dead.

 _This is bad_ , Pikkon thought as his body threatened to shut down. _But I still have one ace up my sleeve..._ "Burning Shoot!" he shouted. Pikkon's body erupted with fire and he punched Cell in the face. To the bio-android's surprise it actually hurt, and Pikkon broke free of his grip.

"You know, your power-ups were cute at first, but truth be told they're getting tiresome," Cell remarked as he traded blows with his flaming opponent. Both of them could tell this fight was going to end soon. Cell's preferred tactic was to let his opponent think he was winning, then crush their spirit with a level of power they couldn't possibly defend against. He had done this twice already, but Pikkon kept rising to the challenge, and now he was putting in actual effort. It was something the proud android couldn't stand. He was ending this, _now_.

Pikkon knew he couldn't last much longer. The Burning Shoot wasn't a transformation like Super Saiyan. It was designed to beat an equal opponent in one attack, not have a full fight with a much stronger foe, and as a result the champion of the West was losing stamina fast. He was keeping his full power up for now, but he couldn't hold it much longer and Cell wasn't getting tired. The Thunder Flash was his only chance for victory.

Pikkon took the first chance he could get to elbow Cell in the gut and fly away. By the time Cell straightened up, he was already holding his fists out in front of him charging a ball of fire in both of them. The Thunder Flash was the ultimate expression of the Burning Shoot, and even if it didn't kill Cell it would have to reduce his stamina a lot. For his part, Cell stood there. He'd played this game before, after all.

Finally, the ball exploded into a maelstrom of fire, rocketing towards Cell at unimaginable speeds. "You call yourself perfect, but even you can't beat this attack, Cell! Prepare to die!" Instantly, Cell's expression darkened. He had planned to regenerate from this, or maybe teleport out of the way, but things had changed. Hurting him and making him use effort was one thing, but _no one_ challenged his perfection. No one.

Pikkon had a triumphant look on his face, until suddenly he saw a shape in the flames. _Wait, is that-_ Before he could finish his thought, Cell, wreathed in lightning, flew out of the flames and grabbed him by the throat. "You dare... You dare to think a weakling like you can win against me?" Cell slammed him into a rock face hard enough to break bone. "I am a being beyond your imagination, slug!" Pikkon tried to punch him, but Cell slammed his elbow against it, snapping it like a twig. "I am the fusion of the greatest warriors in the galaxy, born with one purpose, one destiny: to be the strongest!"

The bio-android punched the warrior of the West in the gut; it was by far the hardest blow Pikkon had ever experienced. "I am _perfect_!" Energy welled up in Cell's palm, and the next thing Pikkon knew a beam of pure power had torn through his stomach like wet tissue paper. The flames around Pikkon went out, and he was still.

 **The winner is Cell.**

 _Author Notes:_ I've written Cell vs Pikkon before, but my power levels were way off back then and the fight honestly wasn't that good. I think I should break down the fight here, so here goes.

As far as this fight is concerned, the Cell Pikkon beat in the anime was Cell in his resting phase. When Cell first became perfect, Android 16 said Cell was much stronger than his Semi-Perfect form but that Vegeta was still stronger. That's the power Pikkon beat in the anime, not his real power. At the start of this fight, Cell is using the power he used to curbstomp Vegeta and fight 3rd Grade SSJ Trunks, which is why Pikkon thinks he's gotten stronger.

As for Pikkon, the way Pikkon was knocked away by Goku's Super Kaio-Ken in the anime implies he wasn't quite as strong as it, but he wasn't too much weaker considering how fast he recovered. I think someone who was only just as strong as SSJ Goku would have been beaten by the Super Kaio-Ken right there, so Pikkon must be a good deal stronger. Not strong enough to fight Perfect Cell, as we saw here, but probably a bit stronger than SSJ Gohan at the Cell Games.


End file.
